Showing posts with label editorial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label editorial. Show all posts

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thousand Words



They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. I’ve always wanted to test that theory. Here is a picture of me lounging around on a day off. I’ve gotten myself dressed up comfortably, but my plans have fallen through. I’m sitting on my brother’s computer chair in what is considered to be his house. There’s a lot of people living here right now so there isn’t much room to put all of our things. At the edge of my resting feet is a mirror from our old house. This is the first time all of us are living in the same place again after moving out almost exactly two years ago. The mirror no longer belongs on the one finished wall of our living room, but rests on the floor instead. It’s been an interesting two years to say the least. I had moved out with the same brother, had my girlfriend move in, get kicked out, moved in to a new place, and had it all repeat. I even got to live alone for a while, which was something I wasn’t sure I’d have the chance to do.

At the new apartment Jordan, my girlfriend, and I started to buy things for when we would live together. Underneath my feet, propping up the old mirror, are our two ottomans. They matched our tastes perfectly as well as fitting underneath our coffee table as if being made for it. We were very excited because they also store things inside of them. It was very helpful because we are both creative types that can get a bit messy when we go off on a creative tangent. We were able to use our coffee table for projects and then remove the clutter instantly by placing it all inside the storage ottoman. The room was so neat and tidy looking when we would smoothly place the ottomans under the coffee table. The green went perfect with the red couch and the multi colored rug laid out underneath it all. Personally, I think it looked even better at the old apartment, but perhaps that was because we had more decorations on the walls. Plus you’re always partial to your first, at least I am.

Speaking of creativity, above the mirror is a stack of all my artwork from school. As you get closer to the top of the pile you come across my newer pictures from my senior year. I didn’t quite finish anything I was making during that last year and it shows in the stack of eighty percent filled paper pieces. Most of those were turning out to be my best looking drawings too. It was the first time I really started to shy away from art in my memory. I don’t know what was happening, but I wasn’t finishing much of anything at that time. I almost didn’t graduate high school on time because my grades dropped off. I was normally a “do enough to get by” type of person, but then I had a senior slump that dropped me just below that average. I didn’t fail senior year until the last day. I was on the fence up to that point, so much so that within the same day I got a “congratulations on graduating” note and a slip to come down to the office to discuss my grades. These happened within an hour of each other.

I began to get back into magic during this last year of school. I did a few tricks at the beginning of high school, but it was this last year that I started to learn new effects and begin to practice full time. The dvd recorder that sits underneath the art class drawings was bought in order to make a magic video. It’s been my goal for over seven years now. I have many small video projects and even a full length “mock-umentary,” alas no full length magic dvd. I bought the recorder with some Christmas money in 2002, I believe. I then spent the next day and a half with an assortment of video cassettes, cameras, cords, the dvd recorder, and a VCR putting together old video projects and magic recordings into the previously mentioned mock-umentary. At the time it became one of the things I was most proud of. I continued this love for video making by recording and burning vacations with friends to Mackinac and Windsor, Ontario.

Just a few feet behind that dvd recorder, past the kitchen filled with Sam’s Club cereal boxes , is my mom’s makeshift bedroom. She made her own curtains and really dressed up the room quite beautifully. It reminds me of a gypsy tent, which is very much a compliment when it comes to me. I have a small affinity towards gypsies. I call my girlfriend one and she really is. I have my own tent in this house to separate my bedroom from the dining room. I send Jordan “pictures from the tent” each morning to say Good Morning. Jordan and I have a long distance relationship for those of you that don’t know, so we use modern technology a lot in order to keep that connection that is missing from the distance.

If you look just above my left shoulder you will see the top corner of a picture Jordan drew for me. I don’t have a place to hang it right now, so it just sits on my dresser in a frame. On the back of the drawing she wrote me a very beautiful and heartfelt letter. I love her dearly. That letter, along with the week of my best friend’s wedding, really remind me how much I love her. She feels like a part of me and a major part of my life. I don’t see it without her and I’m very happy to have her.

Steve

Sunday, August 08, 2010

August Motivation



I wish that for a day you could get inside my head and hear all the ideas I have, all the motivations, all the thoughts and dreams. It's insane to think what I would be doing if I went after each of these thoughts the way that I aim to in my head. I'll get such a streak of motivation when I'm at a safe distance from the moment. I'm talking about that moment to strike. I can make plans for tomorrow or next week and be safe, because it is not yet that moment to strike.

However, once that moment comes I freeze. I start to think of every reason not to. What can I do to change that? I've been fighting it for years and the last couple have seen some real improvement.

Lately I've been trying to be more of a leader amongst my groups of friends. Normally if I want to hang out with people I wait for one of the group leaders to tell me we are going to. Now I'm looking for things that I can bring to the table. I'm not looking to be the "go to guy" each time, but I am also not wanting to always sit around for someone else's motivation. I'm looking for my own.

I think I've started to find it too. I started to search things I like and really start to remember the things that I enjoy. Your own enjoyment is a great motivator. I used to go to horse races as a kid, for example. I found that to be a really interesting thing. I don't know of any of my friends having gone to a horse race. This idea intrigued me. It felt fresh. It felt new. I started to get an almost euphoria in my head, an excitement in my legs ready to jump out there and chase that motivation. I've read about this in psychology books, this fight or flight kind of response. The blood in your body starts to move to the extremities ready to attack. I'm ready to run towards this motivation. I'm ready to fight for this motivation.

I'm looking to bring that moment closer. I'll be able to look back at today being the beginning of this new motivation. Everything I've done up to this point has prepared me for that moment to strike. Each step closer to that moment will fill me with excitement that calms my nerves. I'll see the moment and think "YES!" I'll know when I'm ready and I will achieve some glorious results.